


how to be loved.

by planetshoto



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Other, Pining Oikawa Tooru, introvert reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:27:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26049523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planetshoto/pseuds/planetshoto
Summary: you feel frustrated about not being able to talk to people easily but oikawa thinks he can help.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 42





	how to be loved.

**Author's Note:**

> ♡ [a/n]: if you recognise this piece, i took it from my old kpop blog so don’t worry, it’s 100% my own work!! also if you see ‘jaemin’ anywhere just pretend it says oikawa lmao (taken from my tumblr w the same name!)

the screen flickers as day bleeds into night and the city comes alive with the thrum of midnight activity. you were on what felt like your one-hundredth episode of sailor moon, curled up next to your best friend like you’d done so many nights before. you absentmindedly begin to hum the theme tune, every note reverberating in the chest of the boy next to you; you could not tell whether he was awake or asleep but upon hearing the slowed beat of his heart, you smile softly.

tooru oikawa has been your best friend since the two of you had been in diapers and you couldn’t see a possible future where he wasn’t there. every moment with him was liberating and you shared practically everything with each other: from first crushes, like the fleeting one you’d had on the waiter at your favourite cafe, to homework answers, which oikawa habitually asked you for. he was your rock in the waterfall that was your life and you clung onto him with no plans to let him go.

but whilst he had shared stories of his first girlfriend and first kisses, you couldn’t help but acknowledge the pang of jealousy mixed with another unknown emotion that left you feeling like a puppy in the rain. you watched him thrive from behind the scenes and you knew that if you somehow went your separate ways, oikawa would be alright without you. he had the other seijoh third years like iwaizumi, matsukawa and hanamaki to fall back on whereas you... you had no one. you wanted some experience in that sort of thing - y’know, being social and making new boyfriends.

oikawa made it look so easy.

“hey tooru,” you whisper softly. the room is swathed in pastel blue lighting as the sailor soldiers fill the screen. the seijoh captain hums from beside you and you shut your eyes briefly.

“i need your help,” you continue, trying to breach this topic in a more diplomatic way.

“what’s up?” he asks, immediately turning to face you with worry etched into his perfect features. he glows in the artificial light and your heart can’t help but flutter: it always does when oikawa is legitimately so concerned for you.

“don’t look at me like that, it’s nothing serious. i just want to make new friends and be more...like you.”

it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. there’s no room for embarrassment as worry moulds into content and the sable-haired boy presses you into a hug.

“you had me worried there y/n. what do you need help with? i can hook you up with iwa-chan or something. but fair warning, he’s a loser.”

you smack his chest lightly, nose crinkling in disgust at the term ‘hook up’.

“i’m serious tooru. teach me how to be loved.”

his heart crumbles as he stares into your glistening eyes, extremely serious about this whole ordeal. though he would never tell you, he’s seen the way you look at his group of friends and every fibre of his being wants to sweep you into his arms and run away to some city unheard of, all the while telling you how loved and valuable you are. instead, he smiles sweetly and nods.

“okay. where would you like to start?”

you move off the bed to switch the television off, plunging the two of you into darkness. you slip under the covers with oikawa, just like you did when you were little. his hand lingers between your bodies and he can feel your warmth, but makes no move to cup your waist and pull you closer.

“can you introduce me to yahaba? or even kunimi and kindaichi from the team? you’re friends with them, right?”

there are undertones to that question that oikawa can’t decipher.

“yeah, we’re in a group chat together. and sure, how about we meet up with iwa, makki and mattsun tomorrow for lunch?” his voice sounds sleepy and you hum in agreement before drifting off, trying not to let the tears slip from beneath your lids.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

morning rolls around excruciatingly fast and you slide out of bed gingerly, careful not to wake oikawa’s sleeping form. he looks incredibly peaceful and you study him for a moment as you wake yourself up: his hair falls messily in front of his eyes, sticking up in every direction from tossing and turning all night. his skin looks like caramel under the early morning sun and you smell the faint aroma of coffee and cologne.

after cleaning up in the bathroom, you were beginning to have second thoughts about this lunch date with oikawa’s friends. speaking of the devil, he stumbles into your kitchen clumsily, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes; he cards a hand through his locks, pouring himself a cup of coffee and plopping down beside you.

“morning sleeping beauty,” you say softly, sipping your tea. he grins lazily at you.

“morning y/n. still on for lunch?”

“i’ve got to do it sooner or later.”

tooru wants to object and say that you don’t have to change yourself to better fit the opinions of other people, he wants to tell you that you’re fine just the way you are, and that you don’t need a boyfriend or a big circle of friends to feel validated. instead, he gulps down the rest of his coffee.

“okay, be ready by half twelve!” he sings, skipping to the bathroom.

as he does so, you finish your drink and head into your bedroom, throwing the doors of your closet open.

picking an outfit proved to be more stressful than you had ever remembered: nothing seemed to look right and you became increasingly frustrated, all the while trying to quell the anxiety bubbling within you. oikawa had been so effortless about it, pulling out a random sweater and jeans. he somehow made it look so casual and cool and you couldn’t help but feel fashionably inferior.

“nonsense y/n! here, wear this!” he says when you mention this to him. he picks out a pair of black skinny jeans you had discarded moments ago and a light sweater, perfect to combat the chilly breeze this morning without feeling too overwhelmed by fabric.

“what would i ever do without you?” you ask dreamily, taking the clothes off of him and heading towards the bathroom.

you’d only met iwaizumi briefly before at school, passing him in the hallway on your way to lunch; he seemed incredibly sweet and was also incredibly attractive and you were nervous about leaving a good first impression, being picky about your appearance to the point where oikawa became visibly frustrated. still, he let it slide and simply slung an arm around your shoulder as the two of you walked towards the chosen cafe for the lunch meeting.

the city was starting to come alive around you: your gaze constantly flit between the groups of people you saw on the street, even some girls your age laughing and walking around the shops with their arms linked. following your line of sight, oikawa lightly nudges your shoulder, distracting you from your momentary sadness.

“alright, we’re here. are you ready?” he asks, despite already knowing the answer. he knew the look in your eye, he knew how much you wanted to turn back, he knew about the brave front you were putting on as you tried to kid yourself into staying calm. the sable-haired boy had warned you beforehand that it would be loud and a lot will happen at once; he even suggested that the two of you bail and find a much quieter cafe to have lunch together. but you told him that you needed this and he simply opened the door for you in return.

it was dead easy to spot the three boys: they were the loudest table in the entire building and were making the most mess too. you grimace but follow oikawa towards them.

“hey guys! this is y/n-”

“hey shittykawa! did you get a haircut?”

“is that a new shirt?”

the tears were already welling in your eyes, yet you stay in oikawa’s shadow as he slides into the booth next to matsukawa.

“no, i just styled it differently today mattsun. and guys, please introduce yourselves to y/n. don’t scare them away please,” he says lightheartedly. however, the captain is deadly serious and keeps a protective arm around your waist.

“oh, hi there y/n! i’m hanamaki but you can call me anytime.” a collective groan breaks out amongst the boys and you can’t help but also smile and laugh.

“matsukawa here! and that’s iwaizumi.” the raven-haired boy motions to the boy next to him, happily tucking into some velvety cake. he raises his head in acknowledgement and smiles fleetingly. you were already beginning to feel much more at ease, even when the conversation shifted back to oikawa.

throughout the lunch, you eat quietly and laugh where appropriate. however oikawa could still sense your uncomfortableness and kept his hand next to yours, ready to pull you into his arms and back towards your house if you ever even hinted that you wanted to leave. you’d agreed beforehand that you’d tap him on the thigh twice if you were starting to feel overwhelmed but to yours and his mild surprise, you managed to sit through the whole thing with a beaming smile on your face.

god, oikawa could just watch you smile for the rest of his life; everything around him became unfocused as he watches you laugh at hanamaki’s numerous attempts at flirting. he notices all your little habits when you speak and all your mannerisms when you giggle. he’s truly in love with you and there’s nothing he can possibly do about it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

school was veering around the corner and you sit full of dread, surrounded by all your favourite blankets and plushies. a bag of doritos lay open by your crossed legs and your eyes are glued to your phone. oikawa’s busy hooking up his own phone to his little portable speaker, ready to play some soothing r&b before the anxiety of school washes over him too. you laugh at his stupid dance moves and chucked a handful of doritos at him, begging him to stop.

“you’re hurting my eyes, shittykawa.”

“well y/n, you’re hurting my feelings!” he feigns offence and dramatically munches on the aforementioned snack. silence falls on the two of you again, the only sound being the soft music flowing through your room. you hear tooru inhale sharply and you spare a glance in his direction, laughing softly when you see him with a finger against his lips and his eyes towards the ceiling.

“whatcha you thinking about?”

you.

“well...you know you haven’t had your first kiss yet....”

immediately your phone clatters to the soft bedspread and your heart drums in your ears loud enough to make you grimace as you shake your head embarrassingly. the whole room begins to spin and oikawa instantly knows he had breached an unspoken line between yourselves. though he wasn’t wrong, the mere realisation of being in high school and still not having had your first kiss made you visibly sick; you knew it was not something to necessarily be ashamed off, and that it’s totally okay to wait until you’re ready, but the looming anxiety that came with wanting a movie-like first kiss wasn’t helping your self-esteem.

“sorry, ignore what i said. do you want to order in tonight?”

oikawa felt horrible for bringing up such a sensitive topic, though he was truthfully hinting that he wanted to be yours. he felt incredibly selfish, feeling that no one else would be perfect but him; he couldn’t imagine it being anyone else, no matter how hard he tried to. at the end of the day, it was your decision to make and tooru knew you wouldn’t listen to him anyway.

“no.”

“no? shall i cook? i’ve been-”

“no, i think i’m ready.”

“ready to cook?” oikawa trails off in confusion.

“no stupid, ready for my first kiss.”

the sun was beginning to set, tinting your skin in such a delicious way as you gaze out of the window, refusing to meet eyes with the sable-haired boy that sat at your desk. your hands fidgeted nervously by your thighs, yet you shake your head again and begin moving closer to your best friend.

unaware of what your body is doing, you grab him gingerly by the collar of his shirt and pull him in to meet your lips. he instantly gains control and guides you, which you thank the heavens for because inside you had no idea what you were doing.

the kiss lasts a mere five seconds, yet feels like an eternity as you pull away first.

“finally.”


End file.
